New stuff

Well I decided to get a kitten. He’s so cute! His name is Shades. I kind of want to change it. He looks like he’s wearing a tuxedo, gloves and spats. But on his back he has tabby stripes. I’m trying to get him out of biting our fingers and ankles.

It is taking some work but I’m confident it will work. I’m finally back in school. I’m doing pretty well in school. And then I was moved from my department. I’m now working in markdowns. I hate it. People ask me questions and I don’t know the answer.

I’ve been hearing that a manager complained about my old department having too many people who just walk around. Where and who? Me? I work. So I asked the store manager and was told it was for the fall budget. That I didn’t do anything wrong.
I took the job in shipping and receiving because I didn’t want to work with the public. My background is in customer service, but it’s been years since I have done that. I went from having a small promotion to feeling like I am expendable. I would love to stay but I have been there long enough.
I do not want to be here anymore but I can’t quit until I have a new job in place.
  I’ve been applying.for jobs using Ziprecruiter but only one contacted me. It’s in Wall so that’s a problem for me myonly transportation is the bus or a cab. I’m trying to fix my situation with a car and a better job but I don’t know how. I thought about blogging, but how can I get paid to do it. I saw something on Instagram about it but until my phone is back on I’m stuck. Short of  begging, going back on tanf(which I will probably be denied for) or hustling( which I suck at, ) I’m hit.


Hello out there?

Im not even sure if anyone reads what I write here no one ever comments so I guess I’m talking to myself. I forget about this blog sometimes I just don’t want to write. Sometimes you can speak things into exsistance .

I don’t want to put the wrong vibe out there. Probably could choose to write about so many other topics but would anyone read it and comment.

If I am ever going to be a great author, I have to know how to pull people into my story.

A short story

I opened my eyes and looked around the room. The nurse had just brought me a shirt and a pair of pants. My sneakers were ok, not bloody or anything. I was being released. My injuries were minor and now cleaned and bandaged. Everything felt normal with the exception of the migraine I had.

From what the doctor said I was lucky to be alive. He asked if they could call someone to come and see me home. They called Marjorie. Only thing my memory was shot.

There was a possibility that I could get it back, but right now I needed to be around familiar people and surroundings. Maybe Marjorie could help me.

She knew who and what I actually was. One thing that puzzled me was the doctor kept referring to me as a man.

I did look like a man now, but this just didn’t feel right. I knew I wasn’t Male, but this form was me for now. Marjorie would know what to do. I saw her come into the lobby. She stopped when she saw my doctor.

“Mrs. Black? Marjorie Black? Hi. I am Doctor Morris. I took care of your brother,Alex. He was in an accident and has lost his memory. He needs to be around people.he knows, it might jog his memory or not. I am releasing him to you.” Said dr. Morris.

Marjorie looked at me and then back at the doctor..she knew something was up but she didn’t want to make a scene here. She gave me.a big hug and took my hand.

I already felt like I was losing my mind.

“ Alex is in great hands. He will be back to himself in no time. Thanks for calling me, doctor. “ said Marjorie as we walked away from the lobby.

“Alex,what happened to you, kid? The last time I saw you, you were very different. I know about our kind but I have never seen this. Tell me what happened. “ asked Marjorie.

“I went out with my friends. Their names aren’t there right now but we went to Shoopies. After a few drinks we decided to hit the beach. I was in the water, enjoying the waves, I heard music. Singing to be exact.” I explained.

“Alex, was it a siren song? Our kind is susceptible to magic. Especially siren song. It can affect our ability to shift our shapes. “ said Marjorie as we sat in her car.

I sat there trying to Remember but it just would not come. My mind was blank. I tried to shift to my true form but it didn’t work. I was now a white wolf. I liked this form. Of course I only used it when I was outside and alone, but yet again it was Male.

I tried again, this time I became a dragon, only something was up. I had the wings, scales and tail of a ice dragon but the rest of my body was human and still.male.

“ Alex we need to speak to the siren who did this. Only she can reverse it. “ said Marjorie.

“Uhm, hey I just had a flash. It wasn’t a female siren. He was enjoying our beach play. This siren was attracted to my abilities. Oh no, it’s starting to come back to me. “ I said as an ice cloud began to form.

Marjorie began to chuckle.

“Alex, how do you get yourself in to these situations? Do you remember his name? “ asked Marjorie.

Marjorie was a lot older than she looked. Our kind aged much slower than humans. Even though she looked to be around twenty four, she was actually two hundred forty five years old.

Marjorie was a ginger. She had ginger colored spirals that fell down past her shoulders. Her eyes were honey and grass, meaning they were hazel, with green flecks. Marjorie was a beautiful shade of cocoa. She was a little lighter than milk chocolate.

She was my big sister. My abilities had shown up.when I was a freshman in college. Shapeshifters were very rare in my family. My father was a supernatural too, but he was a witch, so I thought.

Marjorie drove us to the beach near Shoopies.

It looked familiar. We walked down to the shoreline and waited.

“ Alright, Cal. Come out and tell me what you did to my sister and why. Don’t make me call, Zoie.” Said Marjorie as she put her hands on her hips.

After five minutes, a splash told us Cal was on his way. He slinked from the waves. Cal was gorgeous as most merfolk were. He seemed to sneer as he got closer to us.

“Marjorie, I was just having a little fun. No need to call in the heavy. Your sister and her friend, Ella had to learn a lesson. They teased me and I don’t like being teased. “ said Cal.

“So let me get this straight, you risked our existence because some young ladies teased you and wouldn’t let you.indulge? Are you serious right now? What would she say about this? “ said Marjorie folding her arms across her chest.

“ I didn’t mean any harm. The effects of the song weren’t supposed to last this long. Where is your friend, Ella and what is she,” said Cal as the weight of this situation hit him.

As far as I knew Ella was a normal non magical girl. I looked at the two of them standing there. They looked great together. One thing about finding out about my family’s history and our identities was that until we knew what was happening, we were really unaware.

If my friend was a supernatural, she had to find out, or her switching genders would affect her powers if she had them. First I had to get back to my correct form.

“ I honestly had no idea you were a siren. I thought you were some strange guy, trying to get some easy free booty. I was in the water floating on my back enjoying the coolness of it. I didn’t even know what I was doing. “ I said starting to be a little pissed off.

“You had fins. I was waiting for the customary invite to join you. I assumed you and the ladies with you were a new pod or just being stuck up and rude” said Cal.

I shook my head and looked at him. I was not a stuck up mermaid. I don’t believe Cal assumed i was an actual mermaid. I could always tell when someone was lying.

It was coming off Cal in waves. I was angry and tired of the lies. So I took the form of the creature in front of me.

Cal stiffened right on up. I got right up to his face and spoke.

“ Alright you’ve been lying to my sister. I don’t appreciate us being lied to. Tell me or face Zoie !” I yelled.

He looked my sister and back at me. Then he sighed . Cal sat down on the sand. He then talked about the events of last night.

Ella had swam to his spot on the jetties.she told him she wanted to be a mermaid,his mate to be exact. He warned her that the transformation can be dangerous. He refused to do it. Then things went left.

Ella got angry. The wind began to blow, rain fell.she had made a storm. This was the power of a mermaid, a sorceress at that. He sung to Ella not releasing others were around. When he finished singing he found Alex stretched out floating on her back in the water.

Ella was nowhere to be seen or sensed. Cal and Marjorie looked worried. Ella was a mermaid, but why didn’t she change? Last night once she entered the ocean, her fins should have shown up.

Unless her new powers had been affected by the shift in gender. Merman were common but there were none that had the level of magic that Ella had.

Maybe she was in her apartment. I left my sister with Cal and headed to Ella’s place.

She lived near the college we went to. There was a nice sized lake right across the street. We had so many parties there. Maybe just maybe she was there. I sent her a message. She had to be home.

I looked down at my phone to see that she had answered me. She was home, but her text said something seriously strange was going on. When I reached her apartment, I found Ella on the floor.

She was in the same shape I was in. A man with long black locks lay on the ground with fins. His fins were marvelous. They started at his waist a dark purple and as the color went down it changed to a violet blue.

“ Alex, what in the entire ***k is going on? Why am I a guy with fins? Have I finally lost it? Wait, you are a guy too?! Oh hell no! “ screamed Ella.

I went to her side and took her hand. We had to get back to Calder. I still was a little freaked out about being a man.

“Can you change back to having legs? Something must have triggered your fins.” I told my friend as she sat up.

” I don’t know what happened. One minute I was getting out of the shower the next I was on the floor, with this. “ said Ella.

I got a towel and began to dry off my friends legs. Once they were dry, cinnamon colored skin started to appear. Could Ella be a freshwater mermaid? They were very rare but they did exist.

Ella got dressed and we headed back to my sister and Calder. When we reached the beach, Marjorie was waiting with another woman and Calder.

The woman was dressed in blues and silvers. She had long raven black hair with a streak of silver white. This had to be Zoie. The robe she wore reminded me of the ocean. She was strikingly beautiful. Her eyes were silver with flecks of turquoise in them.

“Calder has made a major mistake. I apologize for this and hopefully it is something I can fix. Now, are there any other problems other than your switched genders? “ she asked.

“ I have Amnesia. I don’t remember what my true form is, I do know that whatever it is, I am female.” I said.

Ella looked at me and back at Zoie.

“I think I can fix this for you Alex. Your friend needs a different type of help. Let me begin. If you come with me, Calder can explain it to your friend. ” Said Zoie.

We walked into the water and she had me float on my back. Zoie raised her arms over me and began to sing. It was the most beautiful Melody I have ever heard. I began to feel more like myself.

I had closed my eyes when she began to sing. I opened my eyes to see Zoie and my sister. She was smiling and were those tears rolling down her cheeks? I was my lovely feminine self again.

I sat up felt my chest.

“Yes! Boobs again! ” I shouted as I came out of the water. I hugged my sister and Zoie. Then sat down on the sand to wait for Ella.

I watched as cal, Zoie and Ella entered the water

How do I get started?

   I have been feeling like I’m in the worse part of my life. I have not been following my dream and it hurts. I hate my.current job and just irking by. I pray, to ease my mind and my heart.
       I feel like such a failure with my.youngest child. She’s been acting up in school. I.put her in karate but its only one day a week. I am having her evaluated and I am praying and hoping that the teachers are wrong and that she doesn’t have Adhd.

I’m probably in denial about this because I know my child. I see when she’s stressed how she shuts down. But I have also seen her behave.
      This whole thing with her behavior seemed to start in second grade. That was when I put her in karate every weekend. It was day but we were do things together.
    So the behavior issues stopped. She made it to third grade. And for the first marking period she was doing fine.

   Then everything started again. Plus I was no longer able to keep her in her after school program.

    I know that she misses it. I miss it too. I gave up an hour of my schedule. So I now work from 9-2. I need a full time job but I am not sure how I can get everything in order so I can work full time.

    I don’t really have friends like that. I’m still seeing my friend. I do talk online but that is it. I am seriously thinking about deleting a few of these online chats.

I have been keeping to myself. At times I’m glad to be alone. I don’t want anyone to know what I am dealing with. I push certain people away. Well I’m not even sure I’m pushing them away.

I just don’t want this person. I sent mixed messages to him. now that I don’t want him, I put my foot down and its not changing.

The next thing I have to do is really look into writing jobs. I can’t not give it a honest to god try. Since I have this talent, I need to use it.

Article on LinkedIn

I tried to write an article on my LinkedIn account. It was titled a day in the life of a single mom. I just never published it. I feel like something like an article should be written by someone professional. Plus it wasn’t really a day in the life type of article. I wanted anyone who read it to know what I was going through and that I’m not the only one who goes through this.

Someone great

Watching this movie on Netflix. Its interesting. Its about three women who are having a day. One has just come out of a nine year relationship, and another just broke up with her boyfriend.

I like it so far. I do wonder why people stay together so long only to break up and move on to the next so fast.

Then there’s the awkward seeing the ex at the ladies night out party. Come on. Ive been there done that.

Its kinda sad to lose your first love. I lost mine became his friend and then watched as he got married. Funny I thought I would be sad but no. I’m actually happy he found his person.

I just wish I knew who mine is or at least where is he already. Some times I feel so alone. I long for that guy. The one my heart calls for. When he finds me, will I even know?

I’m so scared to put my self out there like that again, after one failed relationship after another. I’m tired of meeting the wrong guy. The wrong kind of guy. Then the one I could see myself with makes me question everything. He’s not the talkative type.

I like the small things he does. He calls me darling. I think its sweet. It makes me blush. Of course I’m not at all sure about him. For Pete’s sake I had a crush on him in high school.

I don’t know where I’m going to end up, but I hope its with someone great, either a man or some great girl, no great lady friends.